On my lunch break, I sit on a lawn chair in

the parking lot and look at the sky.
Some days I read a little.

I have been reading the same book for over
a month. I can't get my mind to shut off.
It has more than one track, there are trains 

coming in all of the time. 

Many with similar arrival times.
Gotta make those transfers.
My brain is Jamaica station, for thoughts.

I position the chair so that I can comfortably
tilt my head up and my field of vision is entirely
blue sky (or sometimes gray) and a bit of tree top.

I am watching its leaves turn, it is slow but noticeable.

I would like to say I am more miserable now
than I have ever been. 

But, that is probably not true. I remember
freshman year of college (vaguely)

and middle school (even more vaguely).

Hollow, hollow, hallow.  

And scared, mostly fucking scared.