I am stupid to miss what is not exactly mine.
I am stupid to miss what lies just along that
harried line of yes and no.

Yet I do. Because it's different now, different
now than it even was when it became different.

I knew that this was where it was going to end up.
I truly did and I wish I could say different, then maybe I'd feel less guilt. However, I'm not even sure that guilt is the right word for what I am feeling. I shouldn't have to feel guilty, I mostly just feel stupid.
So fucking stupid for doing this to myself, and I suppose to you.

We'll see what happens though, that's the only real way to do things. Besides, there's a fifty-fifty chance that I'll fuck everything up irreparably and the same that I won't.

I guess that's what gets me though now, got me through then, and will continue to get me through forever.