sometimes, i don't know how to deal with
myself around people. i don't know how to
act, don't know how to treat them, don't
know what to say (or what's acceptable to
say). sometimes, it's only because we've
just met and i haven't had time to get used
to it. but other times, it doesn't matter
how long i've known them, i'll always feel
that unease. it's characterized by that
awkward feeling in the pit of my stomach,
like snakes are weaving in and out my
ribcage. the one that makes me nervous.

i'm glad that i had a point in time where
i didn't have to feel that with you. i'm not
so glad that this new found apprehension
seems to be bringing it back.